Note to Mekenze

Dear Mekenze,

This is me writing to inform you of something you already know.

I am fascinated with different lifestyle choices that people make. I have been thinking a lot about the optimum way that I should live my life and what I should focus on to make sure that I don't have any regrets and so that I make a contribution to the world. I used to think that I wanted fame and fortune. I am not throwing that option away but I have been putting an enormous amount of pressure on myself.... "I need to make it to Hollywood for people to think I'm important." ..."I need to be on Broadway to be fulfilled.""I am going to disappoint so many people if I don't make it big." .. and many other beliefs that swim through my head every minute of every day.  

Let me tell you how I feel now...

While I am still a Huge Dreamer and I most definitely have a passion for performing and music and dance and theater and acting and everything that goes with it......that is not the only thing that makes me happy.

This is honestly frightening for me to admit... but I really feel strongly about what I have been feeling and I NEED to take this pressure off of myself!

 So here it goes...

My #1 Dream is to be happy. That's the dream! Simple as that!  I know that sounds so dramatic and lame and whatever. but its really how i FEEL. I don't need to be living the fast life to be successful and I feel like I have built up soo many expectations for myself that aren't necessarily my greatest passions....

I don't want to miss out on the "normal" things.. 

I want to be a mother and raise a family more than anything. I want to learn how to cook delicious food for my family. I want to have a garden and a swing set in my backyard. I want to go to dance recitals and soccer games. I want to start and carry out traditions around the holidays with my family. I want to make chocolate chip cookies for my neighbors.. I want to marry the man of my dreams and explore the world together.. I want to do great things for the world.I want to travel everywhere!  I want to teach. I want to help other people be happy with themselves.I want to have confident, open minded children.  I want to learn more about this beautiful world around me. I want to grow closer to God. ...I want so many things and if Broadway and Hollywood  fit in, then that's great! but now the pressure is off... I'm still gonna be great. 

I promise. 

Love, yourself :)

Public Trasportation

Living here in Pittsburgh for almost two full semesters, I have observed many interesting things. Some of the most interesting people you will ever see in your life, you will see on the city buses.
On each and every bus there are a few "characters" that you are always sure to find:

•  First, is he lady straight from the ghetto, complete with baby phat track suit and fresh weave, yelling at someone on her cell phone. These ladies are always whippin their hair back and forth...
• There will always be the frantic person who yells at the driver because, "they could have sworn there was a stop on 6th avenue! Could you please just let me off here???" The driver always says no.
• There are usually 4 or 5 embarassed people that I like to call the-- "I promise I'm not the type of person who normally takes the bus.. but you see, my situation is..." group. They are normally staring out the window and wearing headphones, praying that their stop will come soon.
• And last but not least, there will ALWAYS be someone that gets on the bus that has absolutely no teeth. Don't ask my why. I wasn't aware that so many people made this lifestyle choice.. but apparently they do.

SO the next time you're in Pittsburgh, take the bus and make a mental checklist for yourself of all of these interesting characters. It's entertaining. :)

A tribute to someone really great

My Beautiful Mother

Mom, you're a wonderful mother,
So gentle, yet so strong.
The many ways you show you care
Always make me feel I belong.


You're patient when I'm foolish;
You give guidance when I ask;
It seems you can do most anything;
You're the master of every task.

My mom literally is my greatest friend .. it hasn't always been this way. trust me.

Its weird, but I feel like I have grown closer to her through text messaging-- sounds lame but its true! I text my mommy every day-- more than anyone else in my phonebook :) She makes me feel better about everything.. and she makes me excited to be a mom someday in the near future. ( Not too near, but its coming up. ) 

If you don't talk to your mom, you should. She knows a lot.

10 random things you may or may not want to know about me.....

In no particular order:


1. I have a mad passion for Singing, Dancing, Acting and anything related to performing or a stage or a spotlight.


2. I Hate being surprised... I have no idea why. I found out that my mom was throwing me a surprise birthday party one year-- and I had an anxiety attack.


3. I can rap... like really. I'm in love with Nicki Minaj.. I would trade lives with her if I could. 


4. If I had to choose only one thing to eat for the rest of my life, it would be cereal.


5. I will have a child with an afro... whether I  adopt or  marry a man who can make it happen... its happening.


6. I believe with all of my heart that life is what I makIe it to be... how I choose to react to my given circumstances is creating my future. Being positive is so powerful!


7. I am going to start a project sometime soon where I interview hobos so I can learn about their lives and how they ended up where they are. It's so interesting to me. Perhaps I'll Blog about it! :)


8. I guarantee that most people don't really know what I'm all about.. I know I seem closed off but I'm actually not. I am striving to open my mind every single day.. just talk to me. Chances are, I am in my own world when you are making your first judgement of me... so i might come across as a b****. I can be.. but normally I'm not. :)


9. I have something inside of me that won't let me settle with being average. I must be great.


10. Confidence is something I have lacked for 18 years... Here I am in my 19th year... its finally coming. I need to accept that I am beautiful in every single way. ( and words can't bring me down.) haha


WAS THAT INTERESTING?? 

Where to Begin???

PREFACE (this just makes me feel cool. I don't actually need a preface.)

First off, I'll get this out of the way before I get into anything too crazy... Yes, I was inspired by my little sister to create this blog.. she is pretty awesome and I secretly want to be like her, so there ya go. Secondly,

I LOVE WRITING. 

I am constantly trying to stuff my life in to my journals-- yes plural. I give myself anxiety attacks sometimes because I feel like every moment of every day needs to be remembered and written in ink. I hope that by having this blog I will be able to have another outlet to let out whatever it is I'm feeling. Ok, now to get to the good stuff....